BonusPants.com FAQ

Q: Bonus Pants? Where'd you come up with that one?
A: I once had a dream in which, among other surreal & typically dreamlike activities, everyone referred to underwear as "bonus pants". I carried that term into my waking life, and I've been calling underwear "bonus pants" ever since. It makes sense, really - you're already wearing pants, so underpants are just like a bonus…

Q: Why are you doing this?
A: Fundamentally two reasons: I can sew, and I think I'm funny.

I've been sewing for years; my design acumen developed at an early age, to the utter humiliation of my Cabbage Patch Kid [photos forthcoming].

Fast forward, I begin a 10-year career as a theatrical costumer. Fun, but it's too easy to be too broke by devoting my life to Thalia & Melpomene - a muse is a harsh mistress.

I can't seem to stay out of the theatre, though - so I take some classes & perform for a while with Brave New Workshop, where this "I think I'm funny" business really takes hold.

Simultaneous with the BNW days, I got sucked into A Word A Day, where I discovered the joys of the Internet Bulletin Board and realize how deeply my sense of humor relies on wordplay. That's when I get the idea that not only am I funny, but I'm also clever. And if you don't think that's a dangerous combination, just stick around for a while…

Present day, and I'm making absurd boxers for my boyfriend Mac. I decide that some of my fabric choices and attendant stupid jokes deserve a wider audience. That's you. So feel the warmth and splendor of my sense of humor ensconcing your nether regions!

Q: Who's that sexy model?
A: That's my boyfriend. Hands off!

Q: What's your return policy?
A: I'll exchange items if there's a flaw in the garment you've been shipped. Quality control is pretty high around here, but occasionally something freakish might slip out. It's underwear, though - so if you wear them, they're yours forever. Call me a prude, but I still believe in keeping your pelvic cooties to yourself (unless you've found someone to share of them willingly).

Q: If I want a pair of Bonus Pants in a particular style, can you do that?
A: Absolutely! The range of fabrics available in the modern age is positively staggering. If you have a special interest, fascination, mania, or fetish that you'd like to immortalize in a pair of Bonus Pants, just email me. We'll talk!

Q: Will you ship internationally?
A: Of course. Shipping charges will vary by country, but we'll get them to you!

Q: Can I have a nickel?
A: No. Go away, kid. You bother me.